Jerry Doyle



vs.

Bruce Willis


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"...and though we are not now that strength which in old days moved Earth and Heaven; that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."
-Tennyson

I'm going to have to vote for Bruce.

Bruce Willis can knock helicopters out of the air with cars, is an expert in the use of all major weapons & space craft, can travel through time, is nigh indestructible, is one of the most renowned assassins in the world, has taken on terrorists, murderers, organizations bent on releasing a plague to destroy mankind, countless aliens breed for war, planet killing asteroids, rescued refugees from the heart of the jungle and absolute Evil.

Not to mention his only weakness is water.
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"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die. "

I don't know.

Jerry is a bigger guy than Bruce.
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Stapp's Law:
The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.

And meaner.

Frank
_________________
A little CHAOS is a GOOD thing.

Doyle is a Republican?

That settles it, I'm voting Bruce.

Taxi cab driver over Starfury pilot...
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Reload Dr. Freeman.

Both of them, wrestling topless in thongs, in a vatful of gayness mud!

Nx
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I believe that elements of the US Govt in 2001 + other parties did allow/encourage the 9/11 mass murder for profit and military gain.

Proof to the contrary, positively welcomed...

Huh.

So, what you are saying is that we have two guys, both bald, look like twins separated at birth, both married and divorced from HOT looking actresses, and both Republicans?



Wow.

Alright! Let's dig a little deeper then!

Bruce is just under six feet tall. Jerry is six-foot three inches. This gives Jerry the advantage in distance.

Bruce is from New Jersey. Jerry is from Brooklyn. No advantage to either men.

Bruce plays roles of characters who have military training. Jerry actually WAS in the military and was an Air-Force pilot before becoming a corporate pilot. Advantage goes heavily to Jerry.

Also, both men were born only one year apart so there is no age advantage.

...

Okay. I think that sinches it.

Jerry has the advantage of REAL military training, he has a longer reach, and he had the guts to fight for a congressional seat out of pure spite, due to the fact that no one thought contending for the seat was worth while and THAT is tenacity.

Winner - Jerry.
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Stapp's Law:
The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle.

Air Force doesn't really count as "military training" when you're talking about hand-to-hand combat- you get more brutal training in Boy Scouts. Both are action movie stars who have recieved weapons and martial arts training while on set for various shows/movies, though. No advantage here. The fight would look great and continue forever with neither recieving any serious injury!
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""Once you've been able to chuck rounds that are essentially hand grenades onto a target by simply looking at it, honking the horn in traffic just won't satisfy you the way it used to." - AH-64D Apache Longbow Gunner

Nobody seems to have mentioned that Bruce Willis was captain of his high school wrestling team. Even if he retains only a sliver of wrestling knowledge and skill from those days, it could be a decisive advantage.
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"Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards."
- Fred Hoyle